Not all communication happens with our words, body language is a great example.
Communication can be a tricky road to navigate.
Did you know that 55% of our exchange with others is conveyed and perceived through nonverbal communication?
Understanding body language cues can help you learn what a person means without them uttering a single word. Inversely, having a heightened awareness of the nonverbal cues you are sending to those you communicate with is equally important. You can easily control the messages you are sending through your body language and adjust them as needed.
Body language cues become even more important where there is a language or other verbal communication barrier.
Just as a smile is a universal signal for joy, there are other nonverbal cues that will usurp any miscommunication that might occur through language. These cues will allow you to have an awareness of a given situation and how the other person involved is feeling.
Here are a few body language cues to know.
1. Crossed Body Parts
Crossing our arms or legs is one of the most obvious body language cues that often times goes completely ignored. It is a position that may come naturally to us whether we are standing or seating.
Perhaps we find it to be a more comfortable stance but the truth is we are probably in a self-defense mode and that is the message we are sending to others, whether we have an awareness of it or not.
When we cross a part of our body, we are sending a message that we don’t feel completely safe and that there is something we are interested in protecting from whomever we are across from.
Crossing arms and legs is not a threatening move toward others. In fact, most people may not even notice it. That is until you uncross.
Sitting with your feet planted firmly on the ground, your arms uncrossed and your hands-free to gesture gives off a sense of warmth and openness. It conveys you feel safe, comfortable and relaxed in your environment and have nothing to fear or hide.
If you are communicated with someone who has crossed legs or arms, you can bet they are likely feeling tense or anxious, thus giving in to the need to protect and hold things close to themselves in order to feel more secure.
2. The Eyes
Pupils
First, let’s cover one body language cue we have no control over; our pupils. They dilate and contract with the light, growing and shrinking unbeknownst to us throughout the day.
However, many studies have found that the pupils tend to dilate when someone is interested in a subject or person. When the interest fades, the pupils have the tendency to contract. Keep this in mind the next time you’re trying to gauge someone’s level of interest in a certain matter.
Eye Contact
Making eye contact with the person you’re communicating with is essential to create connection and allow them to know your attention is on them. However, extended eye contact can become strange. The person you’re speaking to might begin to feel uncomfortable or as though you’re trying to scare them.
On the flip side, a wandering eye or evasive eye contact will convey that you are distracted, uninterested or not paying attention. Lack of eye contact can also indicate that you are uncomfortable or being dishonest.
Many times when we lie, it is difficult to make eye contact with the person we are lying to. Our eyes become shifty and we struggle to look at the person directly.
3. Mirroring
Ever notice that when you see someone else yawn, the next thing you know, you’re yawning as well? That’s a form of mirroring.
Mirroring is essentially a way to duplicate someone’s body movement in an effort to make them feel comfortable and connected to you. The mirroring needs to seem natural and organic, otherwise, it will look like you’re playing a game of “Simon Says”.
Let’s say for example you are having an enthusiastic conversation with someone and then begin to gesture with their hands when they speak. Using your hands to naturally gesture as you speak, is a way to mirror them and show you are on their same page, building trust and an authentic rapport.
Mirroring often naturally unfolds when two people are romantically interested in one another. However, this body language cue can be used to build strong and trusting business relationships and gain comfortability with someone new.
4. Touch
Do you ever find yourself twirling your hair or wringing out your hands for no reason? We touch ourselves, our face, our hair, our hands, all day without realizing it.
In reality, this is an act of self-soothing that we do to calm ourselves in times of tension, stress or anxiety. This self-touching is our bodies way of naturally alleviating stress even if just for a moment.
Stroking our own arm, playing with our hair or adjusting our clothing signals to our brain that we are safe and taken care of. If you are communicating with someone who is self-touching, they may be nervous in the given environment and attempting to calm themselves down.
5. Smiling
We all smile for various reasons but there are some clues to learn how to read what a smile may mean and understand the way your own smile might be perceived.
Smiling, for the most part, is a positive body language cue. It means you agree, you are enjoying yourself and that you are offering your approval to the person you’re communicating with. However, you find yourself smiling during a serious moment, the gesture could indicate nervousness, discomfort or even lying.
Many times people smile or even laugh when they are uncomfortable. I’m sure you may have heard of people unexplainably laughing at a funeral, one of the most solemn occasions there is. This is because their brain is signaling discomfort and they don’t know how to cope. Often times smiling is easier than feeling the deeper emotion under the surface.
If you’re using a smile to convey a body language cue, try to be sure the moment is worthy of a smile and the gesture makes sense for those involved. Similar to eye contact, just have an awareness of when it occurs and how long the gesture lasts.
Take These Body Language Cues Out for a Spin!
Learning and practicing the above body language cues will help strengthen your communication with others. You’ll be able to understand what someone else means and have a better awareness of the type of messages you’re conveying.
Pay attention as you communicate with others going forward to notice what they’re telling you without words.
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